Karen is happy for Foggy. Sure, Matt’s pouting face is a bit heartbreaking. But Foggy deserves happiness and shouldn’t have to wait for Matt to finally make a move.
So Karen decides to be supportive of Foggy’s new relationship. Well, of course this is not the only reason she wants to meet Norman. Karen is a curious person. Sue her, she knows two great lawyers. However, getting to know Norman is very hard.
*
“Ah, no,” Foggy says. “Norman doesn’t have time. A pipe broke.”
“Poor guy! Does he need help?”
“Uh… no! His… brothers got this.”
“That’s nice. But a few more helping hands…”
“He’s got like 6 brothers or so… We’d not even all fit in the apartment.”
“I see… but…”
“Is that Matt calling? Coming, Matty!”
*
Foggy arrives punctually at Karen’s place.
“Oh, um, sorry, Karen. Norman couldn’t come. He has to… work. Yes, very much work.”
“On a Sunday?”
“Yes, he… um… sells sandwiches.”
“Ah, wh…
“Oh, sushi!” Foggy rushes to the table.
“You don’t even like sushi.”
But Foggy can’t answer as his mouth is full of raw fish and rice. He flinches a bit.
*
“I have been to all the sandwich places I know,” Karen says. “No, Norman Yess. Where does he work?”
“Um… it’s not in Hell’s Kitchen, it’s… in Jersey.”
“Jersey?! Okay, which one?”
“Oh, he doesn’t work there anymore.”
“Why?”
“Because of his… cucumber allergy.”
“What?”
“Yes, it developed super fast. Poor thing.”
“Oookay? We know a lot of people - maybe we can help him find something new?”
“Ah… no. He likes to have more time to focus on his… writing career.”
“He is a writer?”
“Very much. Speaking of writing, I need to finish this statement. Talk later. Like, much later, because that statement is… woo. Bye, Karen.”
*
“Maybe I can have a look at Norman’s work,” Karen suggests. “I know something about writing.”
“Oh, he doesn’t like people to read his stuff.”
Karen laughs. “That could be a problem if he wants to be published one day.”
“Yeah, he doesn’t want that.”
“What? Why?”
“Because… erm… he is not very good.”
“At what?”
“Writing.”
“... but shouldn’t he try to get better then? At writing? As a writer?”
“It’s more of a hobby than a career actually.”
“But he lost his job and sooner or later will need money.”
“Um, no. He inherited some money from his grandma.”
“Really? What did she do?”
“Had a chicken farm. Listen, I need to go to court. Bye, Karen.”
*
“Maybe I could join the knitting class?” Karen asks.
“What knitting class?”
Karen frowns. “The one you go to? Where you met Norman?”
“Ohhhh, that knitting class. We… don’t go there anymore.”
“Why not?”
“Umm, ah, you see. Norman can’t knit.”
“Well, that’s the reason one visits a class about something. Because you want to learn something.”
“Yeah, yeah, right. But it’s really hard for him because… he only has one arm and…”
“Oh, what? Always?”
“No, no, weird accident in kindergarten. Something with a… a toaster. He doesn’t like talking about it.”
“Uh, yeah, okay. But why would he join the knitting class in the first pl…”
“Well, Karen, obviously he wanted to join the class for one-handed knitting,” Foggy says condescendingly. “But he accidentally booked the wrong one because he lost his reading glasses.”
“Ookay? But…”
“I can’t talk about it right now because I need to buy new socks. See you.”
*
Norman Yess is hard to meet. When he isn’t in a weird accident, he is spontaneously needed by family or friends outside of New York (“Texas? Really, Foggy?” “Yeah, there are people living in Texas, Karen!”), has very bad luck. (“He really wanted to come for drinks, Karen, but he locked himself in the basement and his phone died.”) or he does not dare to leave his house because of stress induced pimples and, later, stress induced warts (“It’s a thing, Karen! But don’t look it up, it’s gross.”)
Now, Karen was not born yesterday. So she grows worried. Foggy is not the type to be ashamed of a partner, he’s not that superficial. If he decides to be with someone, he will stand by them. But what if Norman is not as nice a guy as Foggy? What if Norman is hurting Foggy, emotionally or physically or both? Maybe Foggy does not bring Norman around because he fears Karen would pick up something.
At first, Karen considers spying investigating on her own. But Foggy knows her well and might notice. She really does not want him to be mad. So she asks for an extended lunch break and goes out to find help.
*
With strained patience, Karen watches as Jessica, Karen’s notes on Norman in one hand, a glass of cheap whiskey in the other, goes through all the information. She appears to read them thoroughly. When she is finished, she lets the papers sink and takes a sip from her drink. Licking her lips, she turns to Karen, raising one eyebrow.
“So, just for me to get that right,” she says, “you want me to investigate a one-armed, allergy ridden, pimple plagued retired sandwich maker slash bad writer who has the worst luck in the world, except for that one time he inherited a fortune from his chicken farming grandma?”
“Erm, yes, I…,” Karen halts as realization hits her. “Fuck. Foggy totally made him up…”
“Well,” Jess says, drawing out the Ls. “It is of course possible that he picked up a one-armed, allergy ridden, pimple plagued retired sandwich maker slash bad writer who has the worst luck in the world, except for that one time he inherited a fortune from his chicken farming grandma and fell in love with him, but it’s not very likely.”
“No,” Karen said, caught between confusion and anger. “But why would he pretend to date a one-armed, allergy ridden, pimple plagued…erm what you said?”
Jess shrugs and empties her glass. “I’m sure he has what his dumb ass thinks is a good reason.”
*
A few weeks ago in Franklin “Foggy” Nelson’s apartment.
Karen scrunches up her nose. It’s cute but it also tells Foggy that this soup is not his best work. Matt sniffs the air around the oven and doesn’t look too happy either. His sensitive nose probably noticed from outside that Foggy overdid it with the saĺt.
Not Foggy’s fault! Cooking is delicate work. After all, it’s only been five days since Matt, as Daredevil, saved him from a bunch of thugs. How could he not be distracted by the memory of Daredevil offering his hand and asking in this deep manly voice, “Are you alright?” It’s only natural that Foggy’s thoughts wander towards the toned body wrapped up in a tight costume, muscles playing and straining against their confinements… NO! Focus! Karen is saying words.
“What?” Foggy asks innocently.
“I said my mother believed that using too much salt means you’re in love,” Karen laughs.
Matt snorts. “Yes, Psychology 1.01,” he deadpans.
“Who knows?” Karen giggles. “Do you have a crush on someone, Foggy?”
Foggy chokes on his own spit.
Deny, deny, deny!
Too many seconds pass before he croaks out, “No?”
Shit.
His friends stare at him. Karen is the first to recover and she gives a delighted squeal.
“Ohhhh! You do!”
Deny, deny, de… damn, too late, she is already in questioning mode.
“Do we know her? Or him?”
Don’t specify. That’s a trap. “Him.” Dammit.
“Where did you meet?”
“Knitting class.” Wow, worst possible lie.
“What’s his name?”
Don’t say ‘not Matt’. “It’s No…rman.”
“Norman,” Karen repeats. “Family name?”
“Yes.”
Karen laughs. “No, I mean what is his family name?”
“I…,” Foggy says, “...meant that, too. It’s ‘Yess’, two ‘s’ like in ‘Chess’.”
“Norman Yess?” Matt asks, his face unreadable.
“Exactly,” Foggy says. “But it’s all very new and I’d rather not jinx it. Pizza or salty soup?”
“Pizza,” two voices say as one.
Foggy does not take it personal. After all, he has bigger concerns now.
*
Now in Jessica Jones’ office
“What reason would that be?” Karen asks.
“I can’t be sure,” Jess says. “But maybe it has something to do with his dumbass crush on his dumbass partner.”
“Can you stop saying ‘dumbass’?”
“Not when talking about those guys.”
“You think he wants to make Matt jealous?” Karen wonders.
“Maybe,” Jess says. “Or just… hide his feelings.”
For a moment, silence falls. Then Karen asks, “What now?”
“Since we agree there is nobody for me to investigate, you could leave me to my actual work?” Jess suggests.
“You have a client?”
“Maybe.”
“So no.”
“True, but I wanna be alone.”
“Right.” Karen sighs. “Thanks, Jess. See you.”
After leaving Jess’ place, Karen buys herself a cappuccino in a small cafe. She ponders the situation. While she sympathizes with Foggy and his crush on Matt and - especially - the inability to deal with it, she is pissed that Foggy lied to her.
So she makes a decision. She will go back to the office, tell Foggy she loves him dearly but then chew him out for making such a fool out of her. Afterwards, he’ll apologize, they’ll make up and she’ll find a way to get Foggy and Matt together. It won’t be easy but she can do it. A few weeks of subtle hints and careful pushing should do the trick.
Back at the office, she finds Foggy. But Matt has found him first - and apparently backed him against the wall.
There they stand, pressed against each other, eyes closed and lips locked. Matt’s right hand has Foggy’s wrists pinned above his head, the left gently runs through Foggy’s hair. The two men kiss like there is no tomorrow, lost to the world. Neither of them notices Karen and she is really grateful for that.
Karen turns and leaves the building. Chewing Foggy out can wait.
As she makes her way home, she mutters to herself, “How the fuck did that happen?”
*
An hour earlier in Jessica Jones’ office
Jess watches Karen leave. Shaking her head, she pours herself another drink. Her gaze falls on the notes Karen left behind and Jess chuckles.
“Dumbasses,” she mumbles into the glass.
Then she sighs. While the pining drama of Matt and Foggy was funny for a while, it slowly but steadily took a turn for the tragic. It’s really not her problem, but she kind of likes those do-gooders of Hell’s Kitchen.
So she picks up her phone and dials a number.
“Hey, Murdock,” she says when Matt answers the call. “Your best friend, who you’re so pathetically in love with that it hurts, made up a boyfriend because his crush on you makes him stupid. Do something about it. It’s getting embarrassing and sad.”
Before Matt can reply, Jess ends the call. Satisfied, she leans back in her chair, smirking.
“And Malcolm says I never get anything done here.”
The End