Cold air filled the streets. A suspenseful silence ruled Hell’s Kitchen, thrown atop last night’s event like a thick blanket. The morning bled red over the buildings and the pavement, bit by bit pushing the city’s shadow into her alleys and abandoned structures.
Foggy was freezing. However, he was grateful for the rush of cool wind. What had happened in Shadowland still was stuck in his bones and skin as a deep, agonizing tiredness. His exhausted body screamed for him to lay down and sleep for days. But he couldn’t. Not yet.
At first, he had to find Matt. Matt who, probably full of guilt and self-loathing, was off to God-knows-where. Foggy had to find him at the station and stop him from leaving. Right now, Matt was not in the condition to make reasonable decisions. Well, admittedly that was a weak argument because when was Matt ever in the condition to make reasonable decisions?
Of course, it was not Central station. Dramatic as always, Matt had found some tiny bus stop at the edge of the city.
As Foggy saw the station, he halted. Standing in the flickering light of neon sign above a run down bodega, he considered his further course of action. After all these years, he still was not sure about the extent of Matt’s senses. All Foggy knew was that they surprised him again and again. So could Foggy even approach the bus station without Matt noticing him? Maybe Matt already knew Foggy was near.
As if to confirm, a familiar voice spoke behind him. “How did you find me?”
Startled, Foggy turned around. Near the door of the bodega stood Matt. In his hand, he held his wallet and a bottle of water peeked from the pocket of his worn out beige jacket. There were some gray stains on his plain white shirt and Foggy remembered the pair of blue jeans on Matt’s legs from college times. The garish light of the shop gave an unhealthy bluish tint to Matt’s pale face and emphasized the dark eye sockets.
“Did you even sleep?” Foggy sighed. “Not that the zombie look isn’t attractive…”
“I asked first,” Matt said as he pushed his wallet into his jeans pocket.
“Don’t buy your bus ticket with the firm’s credit card if you want to hide it from your business partner,” Foggy said.
“Sorry, I was going to pay it back.”
Irritated, Foggy pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yes, that’s exactly why I’m here,” he said sarcastically. “To collect your debt.”
“What are you doing here then, Foggy?”
“Obviously stopping you from doing something stupid,” Foggy said and added bitterly, “Again.”
Matt’s expression darkened. With quick steps, he approached Foggy until their bodies almost touched. Towering over Foggy, he scowled.
“Yeah,” he hissed. “And how did that work out for you last time?”
His tone suggested malice, maybe even a threat in the question. But there was pain and guilt on his sharp features.
“Not bad.” Foggy smiled lightly. “I distracted a demon so Danny could punch it out of my best friend.”
But Matt did not laugh. Instead, his face fell further, twisting in self-hatred.
“That’s not funny, Foggy.”
He lifted a shaking hand and touched the bruise around Foggy’s neck.This morning, Foggy had seen it for the first time. It looked like a blue-green choker necklace that did not match his eyes beautifully at all.
Of course, Matt could not see it. Still, he seemed to know exactly where it was. Could he feel it? There was no way to smell or hear a bruise, right? Well, if there was, Matt probably knew it.
Foggy shivered as Matt’s fingertips traced along his throat. If Matt asked, Foggy would blame it on the cold and Matt would know it was a lie. Fortunately, Matt never asked.
“I hurt you,” Matt whispered. “I almost killed you.”
“No,” Foggy said resolutely. “The demon almost killed me. You saved me.”
A humorless laugh escaped Matt. “Saving someone doesn’t really count if I’m the one endangering them - endangering everybody.”
“Matt, it wasn’t…”
“Don’t do this, Foggy,” Matt all but begged, his hand still laying softly against Foggy’s throat. “Yes, it was my fault. It’s true that I was fully under the demon’s control, but I let that happen.”
Foggy sighed. “Okay, I admit I don’t have all the facts,” he said. “I probably don’t even have a quarter of the facts, but let’s not discuss this here. Let’s find a bar or go to my place…”
“My bus leaves in a few minutes.” Matt said and let go of Foggy.
“Yes, it does. Without you,” Foggy said. “You can’t just up and leave, Matt!”
“I have to.”
“Why?”
“I- just have to…”
“That’s not an answer, Matt.”
“It is.”
“I won’t let you go anywhere if you don’t tell me why!”
“Foggy…”
“Why?”
“Because I'm a coward!” Matt yelled. “Happy now?”
“Wh…” Despite the situation, Foggy laughed. “Okay, I can think of many words to describe you, a lot of them not exactly positive. But coward? No. You are the bravest man I know.”
Rubbing his face, Matt groaned. “Not when it comes to this,” he said. “I can’t face them. Not yet. My friends, my allies… I… need some time to clear my head before I can start making amends.” He hesitated and swallowed hard. “Before I can deal with the fact that some of them might never forgive me.”
“Well, I have forgiven you and I really don’t want you out there with the urge to punish yourself.”
At last, a little smile formed on Matt’s face. “I’ll be careful. It won’t be dangerous.”
“Now that’s a lie and we both know it,” Foggy said.
“I have to go, Foggy.”
“Alright,” Foggy said. “Then I’m coming with you.”
Nodding firmly, he started walking towards the station.
“What? No!” Matt went after him to hold him back.
“Why not? You’ll be careful, you said. It won’t be dangerous, you said,” Foggy said. “Why shouldn’t I come along?”
“Foggy, I need some time. And you need to… live your life here,” Matt said. “You were right to distance yours…”
“No!” Foggy interrupted Matt, harsher than he meant to. “I shouldn’t have. Yes, you act like an idiot sometimes, but I should have known that you usually have a reason to act like an idiot. Often it is an idiotic one, but never malicious. I let you down. And I won’t do it again.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I… I was mad, okay? And I had my reasons. But I shouldn’t have fired you,” Foggy said. “I should have noticed you needed… okay, I still don’t know what exactly you need. But it was not me, letting you down.”
“Foggy, I won’t let you blame yourself for this,” Matt said. “I have…”
“Okay, stop.” Foggy lifted his hands. “It’s cold. Let’s go to mine and argue who’s to blame inside.”
“Foggy, I need to go.”
“Look, if you need time to think it all through before you can go out there again,” Foggy said, “you can stay at my place. If you must, eat all my chips, drink my beer and watch TV. Just… please, don’t leave me. Not again. Please?”
The grim determination in Matt’s expression made way for pain.
“Foggy, I appreciate it, really,” Matt said. “But I cannot sit in your apartment for weeks. I need to…”
“Cousin Debbie!” Foggy interrupted him.
“Um, what?”
“Cousin Debbie,” Foggy repeated. “She’s a third or fourth degree cousin of mine.”
“As interesting as your family stories are…”
“She inherited her parents’ house in some small town named Lily’s Ridge. A few hours from here.”
“I… don’t follow…”
“She ran off with her hippie boyfriend a few years ago, leaving the keys to the house to my dad so he could check on it now and again,” Foggy explained. “We could grab the keys and go there.”
“But…”
“It would be perfect,” Foggy insisted. “You get out of here, get some air in a town where nobody knows you…”
“I don’t know.“ Matt frowned, but at least he seemed to be thinking about it. “Aren’t you needed here?”
Foggy shook his head, remembering the bridges he burned for standing with Matt. “Not really, no.”
“That’s hard to believe.” Matt smiled fondly.
“But it’s true,” Foggy said, ignoring the warmth blossoming in his chest.
For a moment, Foggy hoped. Matt wore a look of concentration on his face, apparently considering Foggy’s offer. But then he shook his head.
“No, Foggy,” he said. “I can’t ask this of you.”
“You didn’t ask! I offered!” Foggy said, exasperated. “Actually, you know what? Neither asking nor offering. You’re coming with me now!”
Determined, Foggy grabbed Matt’s arm. That stupid bastard was lovable and worth saving and Foggy would make him understand. He tried to drag Matt to the taxi rank across the street. Matt didn’t budge. Not even a little. That was a bit embarrassing. When Foggy turned back around, there was a hint of amusement on Matt’s face. His brows were raised and a smile played along the corners of his mouth.
“Foggy,” he said softly - and a little condescendingly. “I really appreciate your concern.”
“Would you also appreciate and accept my help?” Foggy gave back, still trying to pull. “And maybe at least pretend to have a hard time keeping your position?”
Easily, Matt freed himself from Foggy’s hold, grabbing Foggy’s wrist instead.
“Why are you doing this?” he wanted to know. “Why can’t you let me go? Why won’t you…”
With an annoyed sigh, Foggy stood on his toes. A surprised noise escaped Matt when Foggy brought their mouths together. Matt’s lips were chapped and cold, but still they felt oddly right against his own. For a moment, they both relaxed, Matt’s grip around Foggy’s wrists loosening.
Foggy closed his eyes. His hands hovered over Matt’s shoulder and Matt’s moved slowly towards Foggy’s face. But the touches never came. After a few seconds, Foggy realized what he was doing and pulled away.
“Um…,” he said because, really, what could he say now?
“You kissed me.” Okay, good. Matt knew what to say.
“No?”
“Foggy…”
“Yes. I guess, I did,” Foggy admitted.
“Why?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Foggy said.
Matt laughed dryly. “Well, you can’t just kiss me and then not talk about it.”
“No time.” Foggy shrugged and said, subdued, “Your bus leaves soon. Wouldn’t want to miss it, would you?”
Drawing in a sharp breath, Matt crossed his arms. “Lily’s Ridge, huh?” he said after a while. “Sounds interesting.”
“It isn’t,” Foggy said. “Not at all. Perfect to brood and ponder. You know, like the real heroes do.”
Defeated, Matt sighed. “Alright. I’m coming. But if I do, we’re gonna talk about that… lip locking situation.”
Swallowing hard, Foggy nodded. This was going to be embarrassing, revealing and not fun at all. But definitely better than wondering for weeks, maybe months where Matt was and if he was still alive.
“We will. Promise.”